The Toll of Racing

Here's a shot of me from CMWC I found perusing listed photo streams from the event. The look on my face should give an idea of how much effort I put into this race...I pretty much destroyed myself and enjoyed every minute of it.

Fixmas Race

A week prior to my heading down to Chicago to race in their Seasons Beating race I found out that a charity race was happening in town the following week and decided that I would be better off skipping Chicago and doing this race instead. Getting to Chicago was going to be costly and time consuming when I had little of both to spare unfortunately. So I ended up racing in the first Fixmas race help in Milwaukee. The race was inspired by some local guys after they found out Sacramento did the same thing. At the last minutes, about 2 weeks prior, they decided to go with it and burned the midnight oil to get it together.

The race format was based off of the Cranksgiving format in that there were 2 divisions, A and B, the A being a longer race. You had to go to a set number of locations and purchase gifts for children that met a minimum price requirement. The toys were then to be donated to the Toy's For Tots charity. I showed up at the meeting spot for the start of the race, the large and ugly orange sculpture that was moved to line up with the Calatrava wing of the Art Museum after its completion, thus blocking what would be a great view of a cool building by useless crap industrial art. I figured that some people would already be there by the time I arrived at quarter to 4 as the race was supposed to start at 4. As time crept by and I was still the only person there I began to fear the races ultimate demise and my miss on the chance to finally race in Chicago. A little longer and another racer showed up, Dan from MKE polo and the narrow 'winner' of the DFL Shag Bag from Shaggy's race earlier in the year. We waited longer and a few more people showed up but not many. The way it was panning out we would all win some schwag regardless of who won.

After a while of wondering if we would be harassed by a police officer who parked in front of the sculpture and started doing foot patrols in the area the people responsible showed up and gave us the run down on the race and the promise of more people showing up. By quarter to 5 the race was about to begin with no one else unfortunately showing up. We lined up and they stuffed our manifests in our bags and counted down to a Lemon’s start to our bikes. They shouted go and everyone took off running, except for me. I casually walked to my bike, pulling the manifest out of the bag and quickly examining it. There were 5 stops, after they had elected to take a 6th stop off of the A manifest. By the time I got to my bike I had a rough route mapped out, I pocketed the list and hopped on my bike, the first one to leave the start as everyone else was busy pouring over their manifests at their bikes. I rolled by the organizers and waved to them on my way down the sidewalk.

I pulled down the sidewalk, heading west on Wisconsin and turned left at the first intersection then right at Michigan. I had to stop the next block up at a red light with Van Buren and as I did Dan and some other racers caught up with me. A few people questioned were the Chase stop was and I told them 2nd turns into Chase and to follow me. I took off before the green and felt the pressure of the other riders behind me. I ended up deciding at the last minute to take a left on Broadway and cut through the Third Ward that way instead of going down Water. I wasn't sure how many riders followed suit but I hoped the choice wouldn't cost me too much time. As luck would turn out was an excellent choice. Once in the Ward I was able to effortlessly roll through all of the 4 stop intersections with ease and at the end of the road I hung a left and came to Water, which offered no problems as traffic was clear. I slowed slightly at the intersection for the only car in the way; one of the other racers behind me took advantage and pulled into the lead. I pulled up behind him and was able to pass by him as we neared the red light with Pittsburgh. I glanced at the cross light and saw it go yellow and knew I didn't have to worry about cross traffic and pulled past the other racer and out into the intersection just as it turned green. I pushed harder not wanting to lose my regained lead and chased a car under the railroad bridge. I hit National at a yellow light and pulled through the intersection, still ahead of everyone else.

A few blocks later I glanced back quickly and didn't spot anyone behind me, figuring I had lost them at National as they didn't make it through before the red and the traffic. Enjoying the lead I pushed harder and pulled onto 1st street, one of the most dreaded sections of road in town. I did my best to dodge real and imaginary treats in the broken surface of the road for the few blocks of horrid and darkened stretch until I cleared Mitchell Street and rolled through Baran Park. I ran into a red at Chase but with both the treat of the other riders catching up and a small break in traffic I pulled through after a short track stand and cruised to my first stop. Initially I thought the stop was the strip mall that contains Chuck E Cheese's were there used to exist a department like store of some type. As I slowed down to roll by I noticed that it couldn't be the stop and a quick check of my manifest told me the stop was closer to Oklahoma Ave and as I pulled up the hill I realized it was the Target nestled off of the road a ways. I quickly climbed the hill and negotiated traffic to cut over into Targets packed parking lot. Looking out for inattentive drivers and wayward pedestrians I pulled up to the front of the store and locked up to a pole, happy to be inside a warm building to relieve my toes and hands.

I quickly walked into the store and started to head back to the toy section, located in the opposite end of the store when I realized that inexpensive toys were usually kept at the cash registers as well in the impulse buy areas. I started scanning the check out lines and finally settled on a small doll/girl action figure and got in line. There was a woman ahead of me and the cashier was patient and slow. I remained calm and welcomed the wait if for nothing more than an opportunity to warm up more. I kept an eye out for other racers and didn't see anyone until I was almost done checking out when I spotted Dan. I mentally told the man to hurry up as I said that I didn't need a bag for the third time, accepted the toy, placed it in my bag and locked that all into place as I waited for my receipt and change. I put the receipt in the right pocket and the change in the left, wished the man a good night and rushed out, feeling the pressure with Dan close to checking out. I quickly unlocked my bike and headed off to the next stop, Toys R Us on 27th street.

I pounded up and out of Targets parking lot and continued south on Chase, heading to Howard Ave in hopes to avoid as much of 27th Street as possible. The trip down Howard was fast and uneventful as I thanked the City of Milwaukee for repaving it in the past few years. At Howard I pulled west and continued to pound down the road into a slight wind, trying to mentally remember how big of hills I would have to over come before 27th. I was able to get through most intersections, red or green light until 16th street where traffic was heavy. Once past 16th the road was even smoother and I tucked down as much as I could on my risers, which I had switched over to recently to try out over the winter, and pushed ahead. By 23rd I had a slight incline, slowed down for traffic and was able to pull directly into Toy's R Us' parking lot with out having to touch 27th.

The parking lot was a mess, cars and people were everywhere and I had to dodge two inattentive pedestrians and a car to get to the bike rack. I quickly hoped off, fearing Dan was closing in and headed into the nightmare that is Toys R Us right before Christmas. The place was packed with people and I soon began to scan the nearby tables and end caps for inexpensive toys. As I passed by once Armahn showed up and we began to both search. We updated each other on our progress and he told me this was his first stop and I gave him general directions to the Chase stop. After deciding against the vast assortment of trading card booster packs I grabbed a relatively inexpensive Pokemon action figure and hopped in line behind Armahn. Shortly after that I noticed that the counter next to us was almost dead and bypassed him and quickly checked out. Armahn noticed too and followed suit behind me. I went through the same routine I did at target; pulled out my money beforehand, handed the toy to the cashier, swung the bag and opened it while waiting for change, told the woman I didn't need a bag, stuffed the toy in the bag, locked it back into place while waiting for change, put receipt in right pocket, change in left and wished her a good night. I headed out and got caught momentarily behind a slow poke couple and their young son. Once outside I dashed to my bike, double checked the next stop, unlocked it and headed to 27th.

I pulled out right ahead of 2 cars and quickly pounded the extremely short distance to the left turn lane. I pulled into the intersection right as I got the yellow turn arrow and was free of 27th and pounding west once again down Howard heading for 43r. The going slowed a little as the west wind was picking up a bit and most of the way was on an incline of varying degree. At 43rd I turned north and hit even more wind resistance. I tucked in and pushed forward, not as fast as I wanted too but still relenting. My legs were starting to get sore from the trek so far but I was warm enough from the exertion. It was almost too warm at some points. As I fought the wind I went over my route once I hit Lincoln in my head, making sure I had it down to a T. As I neared Lincoln I slowed slightly to allow the traffic that had caught up with me through the park to pass so I could cut over to the other side of the street and mount the sidewalk. I noticed a problem right away as I crossed the road and hit the sidewalk; the post office hadn't done a great job of clearing it off and I held on for dear life as I hit the iced snow pack and made it safely to the moderately shoveled walk. At night and with the snow in the way the walkway seemed thinner than it had in the past as well as curvier. For some reason they had designed this 3 block stretch of sidewalk to arch back and forth. As I cleared the driveway into the post office I had to skirt around a lone pedestrian on the narrow walk and mentally pray he didn't sway from his course. I safely pulled past and continued to slalom down the walkway, fearing it narrowing due to the poorly cleared ice/snow and for hitting more iced over ramp ways.

I almost dumped my bike as I pulled onto the last section of curvy sidewalk when the poorly shoveled ramp from the street forced me to the right side, at which point a groove in the ice grabbed my rear tire and forced me dangerously close to the lip of the sidewalk. Heart pounding from the near crash I pushed forward, fearing I might have torn my sidewall.

The next driveway I pulled off into the parking lot of a townhouse subdivision and continued to head north. I pulled out of the division and back on another sidewalk, the next block I pulled around and pointed myself down the street and waited for cross traffic to clear. Once it had I waved on a van facing me that wanted to turn east and when it had gone I took off again, climbing a small incline then down again to Mitchell, once I knew the coast was clear I pulled into the sprawling parking complex that contained Target. As I wove my way through the parking lot I once again ran into slow and in attentive pedestrian impediment, not wanting to waste time I squeezed through two parked cars and pulled to the front of the store. The closest pole I could lock to had a large cement casing that went up to 4 feet so I picked up my bike and hung it to the normal pole portion by the lock and headed inside as I thought about the Hipster High Lock epidemic BikeSnobNYC talks about and grinned.

The same people who impeded me in the parking lot again slowed my progress getting into the store as they ambled slowly through the entrance. I cut around them once I was able and headed off to the check out lines, scanning for a good toy. After spotting one similar to what I got at the first Target I found another toy and hopped in the next closest line which was almost ready to take me. As to woman in front of me wrapped up someone pulled in line behind me and the cashier told them the lane was closed and grabbed my purchase. As I went through the efficiency steps again I apologized for hoping in line after she closed it. She said not to worry about it and I told her I didn't need a bag.

I wrapped everything up quickly and was out to unlock my bike in the quickest time so far. I hoped on and headed north to Miller Park and began to mentally route the best way to make it to the Wal-Mart on east Capitol Drive. This stretch was going to be the longest let and if I didn't plan it carefully I would waste energy climbing hills I didn't need to climb.

I skirted through the rest of the parking lot to end up on Greenfield. I pulled down the sidewalk for a block to avoid oncoming traffic and was able to cut across the street to the correct side afterwards. I pulled down 47th and shot into the VA complex as I hit a green light on National. I pulled onto the sidewalk and cruised down ready to turn into the maze of access roads between the VA center and the stadium when the sidewalk I use was officially and totally blocked to access. I continued down a bit further and pulled into the employee parking lot to find both a better route and frighteningly made of lose gravel. As I rolled over the Black Death parking lot visions of a hidden, deep section of gravel plagued my mind until I pulled onto asphalt and was in the maze of utility roads. I flew down hill and spilled out into the road that circumvents the stadium, which was as dead as the veteran graveyards nearby. Thankful to be out of the northwest wind I pounded up the incline to cross the freeway and headed down the Hank Aaron Trail/Gen. Mitchell Blvd/Canal. Traffic was incredibly light on the stretch and I held a solid pace while taking over the right lane. Once I hit the roundabout with 25th I had to slow down as a guy in a Supra didn't know how to handle my appearance. I pulled into the round-about ahead of him and we both cleared it at the same time. At the horridly smelling Cargill slaughter house I pulled ahead of all traffic at a red light and held my lead all the way to 13th street. Thanks to a tip from Matt during a race last summer I knew the best way to get to where I wanted to without climbing killed hills.

I pulled onto 13th on a red light and right ahead of a car trying to cross. Enjoying the carless lead I pounded harder north into the wind and only had to pause for a second at the street just south of St. Paul when a clueless van turned in front of me to get to the back of the post office. I continued on and crossed St. Paul on a red due to no traffic and headed towards the Marquette campus. The last time I had headed this direction the road was still under construction and they had added a noticeable incline to it this time around. I came to a stop as I crossed Clybourn and hopped of the bike, shouldered it and quickly walked up a flight of stairs inline with 2 pedestrians. I hoped on the bike at the top and sped towards Wisconsin, with little extra energy burned. I was now only faced with a small incline as I would pull into Riverwest.

I rolled down the sidewalk to 12th and as I arrived I got the green light and safely crossed Wisconsin, I was home bound now and knew I wouldn't need to go any further west for the rest of the race. However I now had to head north a number of miles and the wind had picked up some during the race. I pushed forward feeling the wear of the race so far but content with my position. I met little traffic until I turned right onto Walnut when head on traffic turned the same way and threatened my safety. I slowed a bit, not wanting to press my luck with shit head ghetto drivers and took advantage of the smooth pavement, slight decline and added west wind behind me to cruise to 6th street.

As I neared the intersection with 6th I pulled to the north side of the street and was forced onto the sidewalk to head north at the last minute by a 80's Caprice making a fast and tight turn west on Walnut. I rode the sidewalk for a block and crossed over to the proper side of the street the next opportunity I could. I pulled down the side street and made my way for 3rd, hoping to avoid the incline between Walnut and North on 3rd as much as possible. as I pulled onto 3rd I noticed I didn't bypass it by much and humped it up the rise a few block before turning east again on my way to Holton. I decided to cope with the slight incline on Holton after North and would stick to a straight route now as opposed to zig zaging through side streets.

On my way to Holton down the unknown street I was surprised as I hit a large speed hump unsuspectingly and was thankful I didn't get complacent with the smooth pavement and go no-handed. The next speed hump was less of a shock and the next block found me on Holton. I pushed forward and up the small incline and was once again headed into what seemed like an even stronger headwind. As I crossed Center Street I scanned the building that was on the Northwest corner for any signs of how to get into it as that was the end point. As I rode to capitol into the wind I began to mull over the idea that I might lose out on 1st place if I have to sit around and figure out how to get into the space to check in as at the beginning of the race the organizers were unsure as to the details on the space. I put it behind me the best I could and pushed forward.

I pulled into the parking lot of Wal-Mart off of Holton and quickly locked up at the front door. I noticed a guy duck into the cart entrance but I elected to use the actual door. I headed inside and began to scan the check out isles for a toy. I found one right away and started to scan for an empty check out. A worker pointed and I thought she meant to direct me; she was actually messing with a coworker and told me she was at a different register, I followed her to it and we both seemed to be in jovial spirits. I quickly checked out, wished her a great night and headed out, this time ducking through the cart door to get to my bike. As I unlocked it I spotted another racer and we both smiled knowingly. He headed in and I took off to the last stop confident in my lead. I pulled back onto Holton and headed to Capitol where I ran into a red light. Surprisingly cross traffic was non-existent and I was able to pull ahead of everyone and head west.

Thanks to looking at the route I did during Cranksgiving I knew a way now to get from Capitol to Port Washington Road that didn't require me climbing the off ramp at Port Road. I turned North down the road that runs next to Outpost Foods and headed off into the safety of this little traveled and decently paved stretch of commercial district road. At the end of the line I headed west again and went a few more blocks to Port Road. On the way I thought about the final stop, the address seemed to suggest the Bay Shore Mall complex, but I couldn't think of an appropriate stop there for the race, but I chocked that up to my limited knowledge of that mall complex due to my over avoidance of it.

Then the idea of Hampton instead of Silver Spring popped into my head and it stuck there in a way that made me pull my manifest out to check the address again. Sure enough it said Hampton, not Silver Spring, which meant that it was the CVS on the corner of Hampton and Santa Monica which made the comment made by the organizers about the bike path make even more sense. I thanked my luck and insight and saved myself wasted time and wasted miles and quickly pulled east onto Hampton and pounded to the store. As I neared the parkway road into Estabrook Park I noticed a biker but knew it wasn't a racer as he was going the wrong direction into the park to be one, this did however seal the deal that I would take the parkway instead of Wilson to get back to Capitol.

I pulled into the parking lot of CVS a block later and leaned my back against the wall at the entrance and headed inside. I made eye contact with a cashier and just as I was about to verify the address with him he told me to head down a specific isle for the toys. He said I was the fifth racer he had seen, which didn't concern me as most if not all of the riders were probably from B division. I scanned the shelves and after a bit of debating I choose a bag of army men, as all kids need army men and headed for the check out and the longest wait of the race.

Soon enough I was out of the store and on my way back to Riverwest and end of the race. I had the wind to my back and pulled into the desolate and poorly lit parkway, hoping I wouldn't flat in an unseen crack in the road. Halfway through the park I hit the freshly paved section and knew I had no more to fear. I pulled onto Capitol and the next intersection was Humboldt and I was into Riverwest with less than 5 minutes left to travel. I pressed forward, remembered the last time I had really ben down this stretch of road was the Riverwest 24 race. As I crossed in front of Alterra I feared the rough patch of road I hit would cause a flat but made it through safely and two blocks later pulled west onto Center. I should have sprinted to the finish, but was exhausted, heading into the wind and confident in my position. The last obstacle, actually getting into the space, cleared up as I hit Holton and one of the race planners greeted me at the corner and walked me into the building.

Everyone congratulated me and a few racers from B were already done, including Dan who had taken first. As I unpacked my toys and handed in my receipts I was told I was the winner of A division. I stripped down to my jersey and grabbed a water and bag of energy gels, happy to be done, happy to be flat free and happy to have won. After a bit I headed to Fuel to use the bathroom and get a Milky Way, I then headed back to the space and chatted with people while awaiting my prizes and wind down before the trek home. Next race...Stupor Bowl. I am still trying to pin down the exact weekend which it will take place. It's going to be a cold one...hope I can stay warm enough for that one.

First Friday Alley Cat - December 09

December’s race was the first cold race in a long time. The temperatures were forecasted to be in the upper teens and it was the perfect opportunity to start testing out my new winter gear, especially as I need to get prepared for Stupor Bowl. Matt had won November and was excited to be putting on his first race. I showed up at the bar, had some dinner and waited for the start.

As the race approached the beer consumption increased. Race time showed up with a dismal 4 contestants paid up…and that was all there was going to be too. It was I, the guy who had raced with me when I won Octobers and two brand new racers, who were new to the city. I was disappointed to say the least but was going to do the race if for nothing more than a test on my cold weather gear. We all headed outside and Matt handed out the manifests. There were a number of question with blanks we had to fill in which would then result in a sort of crypto-quip final answer we had to fill in. The race started, the guy that rode with me in October took off and I waited, patiently scanning the manifest. Matt yelled at me as he wanted to assist the two rookies with at least some general directions about the course route. I ignored him and plotted out my manifest. I waited for the rookies to take off then finally, left myself, with no sense of urgency. Before I took off I told Matt I didn’t know where one of the streets was located, he chided me for not knowing and gave me a hint as to its general location. The hint did the job and I instantly formed a mental image of the streets location.

I cut through the alley next to the bar and headed for Clybourn As I rolled I crunched some glass and thought for sure I would flat out, which would be my running luck as of late. I kept going, waiting for the flat that never came. I pulled out onto Clybourn and waited for a few seconds at the red light with Water, I wasn’t in a rush, no need to risk getting a ticket more than I needed too.

Leading up to the race I had been worrying myself over a series of events in the urban cyclist world that seem to sound off a growing anti-biking sentiment in some communities. The most recent at that time was from a veteran messenger in Philly getting taken out by a hit and run on Thanksgiving morning and spending the entire weekend in the hospital. What was outraging the community in Philadelphia was the luke warm response from the police in which they didn’t even file a report until 12 hours later and marked it down as an accident and not a crime. There was a rally called to protest this action and similar harsh treatment of cyclists in the city due to recent cyclist vs. pedestrian fatalities that had the city government and news up in a storm of anti-cyclist rage.

I pulled onto south bound Water and headed towards my first stop in bay View. My hands were cold from having my gloves off while routing the manifest on the wall of the bar and were not warming up…causing me to fear the choice in glove selection. I pressed on regardless into the strong south winds all the way down to the 2000-2100 block of south KK. As I neared the target block I pulled over and mounted the sidewalk. I pulled out the manifest, carefully read the listing, found the answer (which I luckily stopped right in front of) and filled in the answer on a nearby building. I turned north and headed back up the block on the sidewalk and pulled out onto the first cross road to cut over to 1^st street.

As I rolled down the side street I smirked in my mind about knowing this street went to 1^st as we had to hit it during MMI in ’08 for the Shotwell Studio spot. About a block later my smugness was shot down as the street dumped me out onto Lincoln anyways before hitting 1^st and I could have just continued south on KK instead of double backing about a block…so much for being confident in my skillz.

The next stop was a few blocks north of the 1^st stop on south First and as I pulled past Beecher I had a sinking suspicion the stop was at Horney Goat Brewery. I pulled into the parking lot in front of a yuppie-in-training couple out for a night out of cheap/shitty beer and bad sex. I found the address on the bar/brewery and read the question closely. I had to peer inside of the entrance to find the answer which was what charity had a donation box in the lobby, Toys for Tots. I wrote my answer down right there at the entrance and when I thumped heavily on the window to write a hostess looked at me with alarm. I mentally told her to get used to it as I was one of four and wrote down my answer before she could consider chasing me away.

My next stop was a church located on Mitchell Street. I pulled out of the bars parking lot in front of yet another hopeless yuppie couple, sharing that same deer lost in head lights look at the sudden appearance of a cyclist. Instead of heading up to Mitchell I cut back down to Beecher and headed west, into even stronger wind, making me dread my ride home in 2 hours time. I pushed myself up the street, wary of rough roads and debris, always fearful of a flat. At 6^th I turned right and took that to Mitchell, cursing as I climbed the short incline and had to wait at a red light. I reached Mitchell on a red and pulled onto the street heading against traffic, as I knew my stop was on the south side of the street.

I spotted the church and cruised the last few blocks and mounted the sidewalk right in front of a pedestrian. I ignored his shock and pulled out the manifest, scanned the stop and began to look for a sign on the front of the building. Not seeing anything at the churches obvious front I casually rolled further down the sidewalk then came back, went around the corner and searched some more. I retraced my steps and went further down the block and noticed a creepy/pagan-like Nativity scene and thought to myself that would have been cool to have that as the question as there was a motto in English and Spanish above it. I turned back around and continued to look for the sign. As my second full pass proved fruitless I pulled out my manifest to recheck the question and realized I was looking at the wrong one. Matt had made this stop deal with the nativity scene. In a moment of shame I sprinted back to the monument and wrote down what was written in English on the sign. I double checked my next stop, the one I wasn’t sure of, and took off back toward 6^th street.

I hit 6^th on a red light and turned left due to no traffic. I hit another red at Lapham and had to use my pitiful track stand for a second before I could go. I cruised down the street, keeping my eye out for the cross road I was looking for, knowing it was in Walkers Point. I found it, Madison, just under the freeway and hung a wide right. The stop was two blocks away and as I pulled up to a brightly displayed house the guy who offered the most competition pulled up from the east. I assumed he had taken the north route which meant he had to hit the stops I just did and vice versa. I greeted him friendly and we figured out the answer together. I wrote mine down on the hood of a car and took of before he did, complaining that my saddle hat not warmed up during the entire race and still felt like I was riding a block of ice.

I took a left on 2^nd and then a quick right down the next block to hit my next stop, which I should have really hit on my way down to Bay View as it was on 1^st street. I hoped off, made sure I read the question carefully as there were a few possible answers and wrote it down on a light pole. I mounted my bike, cursed the frozen saddle and headed back to 2^nd street. I pulled north and help a solid pace all the way into downtown, not running into a red light or traffic until St. Paul. I took 2^nd to Plankinton to 3^rd and pulled into Pere Marquette Park at its north-west corner. I had to find a sign in the park and started circling the bright Christmas displays in search of it. As I pulled along the east portion of the park next to the river I remember the previous December race when I was rolling through the same portion fearing that I would wipe out and slide off into the river due to the ice on the pathway.

I pulled around to the other side and couldn’t find the signs. I stopped, pulled out the manifest to re-read the question. I then continued to circle the rest of the way around the park and found the signs almost near the place I entered the park. I had to write my answer on the paper on the ground then checked the manifest for the next stop and took off to the deep East Side. The final stop was located on Astor Street. I wound my way east and north ending up on Juneau. I pulled north on Astor and realized I went the wrong way right away, turned around in the intersection and waited for the SUV that had been behind me to go before I headed back south. Half a block later I pulled onto the sidewalk and stopped in front of the church. I pulled out the manifest, read the question, the one I had mistaken at the church on the south side, and filled in the blanks. I double checked to make sure my answers were complete and stuffed the manifest away. I took off towards the bar to finish up, wondering if I was going to come in first.

I flew down Wisconsin and pulled onto Michigan a few blocks later. I pulled up to the bar to find Julian and Flynn with their horse and carriage parked out in front. I put my bike against the bar and headed inside to cheers from some of the people. I asked Matt if I was first and he said yes. I stripped some gear off, wrote my name on the manifest and sat at the bar to begin filling out the crypto-quip portion. Before I was able to finish it Matt’s wife came in and she chided him for leaving the answer key out in the open. I ignored it and continued to fill in the final portion. The question was from the classic movie A Christmas Story and it was the secret decoder message that told the main character to drink his Ovaltine. One of the letters I couldn’t find and scoured the manifest again for the correct one and filled it in. I turned in the manifest and ordered a beer. By the time the beer had arrived the other racer showed up and handed his stuff in. We both warmed up and waited, wondering if the two out-of-towners would show up.

It took them about another 20 minutes to show up and they didn’t hit two of the stops. They said they had fun, but I wonder about that. One of them seemed relieved just to be done. Hopefully they will show up for January’s race and hopefully more people in general will race. I need to step up my mission to bring back the races to what they were when I first started doing them, something people wanted to keep doing and good sized groups showed up for. It is a mystery why so many people are no longer racing and is somewhat saddening. All I can do is work on it and keep trying to bring in people that love to do it. Hopefully Januarys race will be the last one I throw, hopefully I won’t be able to win any more and if I do I’ll concede 1^st to the next racer, I want to race more, but if need be I will plan them, anything to help save the first Friday races, which have been going for many years from what I have been able to find…just no concrete start time.

fail.

2nd Annual Milwaukee Cranksgiving Race

I left work early to get down to the 4pm registration for the 2nd annual Milwaukee edition of the Cranksgiving charity alley cat. The first year it happened I missed it by a week when I stumbled upon the flyer after it had already taken place. This year I was doing it and told the guys at Eighthinch after my fail in Tokyo that I'd partially make it up to them and take 1st at Cranksgiving. I figured that might help make it even since they were the biggest sponsor of the event.

My plan was perfect. I knew the race was all about going to different set locations to buy food, the day before I went to my bank and got 20 one dollar bills for the event and had them stuffed in my Chrome hipster fanny pack so as not to have to mess with taking my wallet in and out a million times during the race. I also had a recently discovered secret weapon of Chipotle's hottest salsa and chips up my sleeve. I have learned through a summer binge of eating Chipotle's while working the bike shop that their hottest salsa jacks my metabolism through the roof for a while and makes me really twitchy, which equates to faster speeds on the bike...doping with peppers if you will. I also stopped at Fuel Cafe just two blocks from the registration point for a double shot Milky Way which is an added bonus for me because I don't drink coffee at all.

With my aids taken care of I rode the last two blocks to the registration point I rode one to it with the coffee in one hand, spilling some on my down tube as I hit a bump resting my hand on the bars. I showed up at Gordon Park, Humboldt and Locust, at 10 minutes after 4 and there were already a large gathering of racers. I strolled up and greeted some of the people I knew and met Noah from Eighthinch. Capt. Jake from MKE Bike Polo's Hero Squad was giving the organizers of the race shit about their time. Apparently they said the race would be starting soon, which struck me as odd as the flyer said the start wasn't until 6pm. Matt had changed his work schedule so he could race planning on the 6pm start. I called him and left him a voicemail to let him know I was at the stop. Soon the planners told everyone to place their bikes on the ground, a Le Mans start was in store it seemed.

We were then told to move over to a part of the parking lot and line up for the A race, which they said was about 30 miles. About a 4th of us out of the crowd lined up for that division, the rest choosing to do the 15 mile B class version. We were given the some instructions and then un-laminated spoke cards (which also resulted in a round of heckles) and our race number. Then they stuffed out manifests in our bags and told us we would lose 10 points if we even reached for the bag before the race started. Before they could stuff my manifest in mine I pulled out my chips and salsa and decided to eat at least some of them instead of being able to stick with my plan of polishing off the bag an hour before the race for maximum effect. I foolishly left the juice I bought at Fuel in the bag and didn't think about pulling it out until the manifest was already hidden. While it was being stuffed in I offered the organizer who did so I nip of thew flask of whiskey in my bag for extra points, he thought I was joking...

I ate only half the chips and pulled the empty coffee container out of my pocket, stuffed it into the bag and prepared to run past the trash can on my way to the bike to throw it out. Instead I asked Noah if he would help out and toss it for me. The B class riders started to get briefed and Kevin from Cog showed up whole walking his dog, he wasn't racing but the Cog guys were providing the Goldsprint fun at the end point. I knew that if Kevin wasn't racing I would have a better chance at winning and Capt. Jake felt so too, which was pretty reassuring. I still couldn't tell if Jake was honestly pissed when I took 2nd at MMI earlier in the year but he's a good guy and easy to talk with so it didn't matter. A few minutes later and they called go and everyone took off. For not running and barely wanting to walk, favoring biking over everything, I have developed some pretty fast running legs and was one of the first people to their bike which was placed near the far end of the drop point. As I ran I pulled the small envelope containing the manifest out and started to quickly scan it for the list of stops.

The manifest consisted of 9 locations, each location, which was only an address, had a listed item we would need to buy. We also needed to keep the receipts from each stop as the only proof that we got what we needed to get where. I hopped on my bike and started to make my way out of the park slowly while reading the manifest. I homed in on the stop on 100 East Capitol and frantically scanned the other stops to see if that would screw me up for a closer stop. Thinking that I was safe I settled on that and pushed the pace from a crawl to race speed. I hit the street at the intersection of Humboldt and Locust against a red light but no traffic and took off with a solid cadence north on Humboldt, following 3 other racers, one of which passed me on the sidewalk. I over took the first one a block later and paced myself to stay on track with the other two, one of which was a local fixed rider I knew from the few times he did a First Friday and letting me test ride his T1. I passed them as we rounded the bend tat leads to Capitol. I pulled to their left, and then shot across the road and turned left into on comming traffic on Capitol over waiting for the long red light. I'm not sure where they went but didn't look back. I crossed 4 lanes of traffic as soon as I safely could to get on the correct side of Capitol and pounded to the first stop.

Still unsure of the stop actually being Outpost Foods I reaffirmed my manifest decipherment as I passed buildings and noted the addresses on them. I pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store, hoped off the bike at the entrance and leaned it against the wall, not fearing it walking off on it's own. I ran inside and saw 3 surprised workers and asked them where the applesauce was. They told me which isle it was in and I quickly grabbed the first jar I found. I got in line behind one woman and as I did a worker spotted me and had me check out at an closed lane. The scanner said four dollars and some change and I balked slightly and had to pull 3 more dollar bills from my pouch. If all these items kept costing that much my dollar bill pile was going to be a waste. I grabbed the change as the first racers after me showed up, none of which included the two I followed to Capitol. I ran out of the store while stuffing the receipt in my right front pocket, the manifest in my right cargo after checking off the stop, the jar of applesauce in my bag with my juice and hoodie and the pen under my hat.

I came out as more people showed up, including Capt. Jake who cheered me on for being the first to this stop. I grabbed my bike and studied the next stop to hit as a security guard asked if we were bike racing, I told him we where collecting food for the hungry for the race and he seemed really cool with that idea as he smiled at me. I settled on the next stop being what could only be the Sendiks on Silver Spring in Whitefish Bay. I took off ahead of everyone else, pulled onto west bound Capitol headed for Port Road and mild hesitation about my choice in routing. I knew there was an incline to get onto Port and feared it would sap too much of my strength. I also feared that I was going round about to get to Sendiks and wondered if I shouldn't have headed east instead and gone down Wilson Drive/Bike Path instead. I was committed to Port and stuck with my choice. I knew there were side streets that led to Port from Capitol but didn't want to risk getting on the wrong track and faced the unknown incline. The incline proved weak and I also picked up speed taking the decline on Port as I headed north and towards the suburbs.

The road conditions on Port are excellent and I sped along, running red lights as I traversed the light industrial sector that controlled little used feeder roads. I blew traffic away which is a nice feat considering the average speed limit on this stretch is around 35 to 40, getting caught by useless red really wastes your time. The only intersection that caused a delay in my cruise was at Hampton, I slowed up as I approached and busted out my awesome 3 second lifespan track stand was I waited out the turn only sign and took off as the last car turned in front of me. Now traffic passed me but the slight rest at the light helped regain some power and I held my pace as I approached Silver Spring. The aroma from Kopps Custard made me both want to puke and east a burger at the same time, a block later I waved thanks to a yuppie in a minivan for seeing me and not trying to t-bone me to beat on comming traffic to make a left turn. Two blocks later Silver Spring was red, a car pulled in front of me to pull into the gas station on the corner, I took their lead and used it to feed me into traffic heading eastbound instead of waiting behind the track at the corner. I pulled onto the bike lane, slowed a block later at a red light that let sheep funnel east onto Silver Spring from the Bayshore shopping complex, noticed no cars that would threaten my safety and took the red, surely angering and surprising many of the congested motorists who rarely leave their suburban enclave and aren't used to urban cyclist techniques.

The next intersection turned green right as I started to slow down and I hit the gas again. To make sure my guess of Sendiks was correct I payed attention to the addresses and felt a wave of relief when they started to go down then back up again. The burbs which don't like numbered streets can throw me sometimes when I'm not confident in their placement on the cities number grid. Traffic in Whitefish Bay crawls at 25 and as we near the intersection with Santa Monica I pull behind the car I am keeping up with just in case he decides to make an unsignaled right turn in front of me. Not too concerned with impeding the traffic behind me I find I have to apply light braking more than I really should, the cars in front pick up the pace a bit after Santa Monica and I find my self having to push a little harder to maintain speed, 2 blocks later I take a break in oncoming and pull into the cross street and the west end of Sendiks' parking lot. I pull up to the front door to find the guys I followed out of Capitol, they must have hit this stop first or hit this one after hitting one closer to Capitol instead of hitting Outpost first. There was also 2 or so people that are putting the race on with a video camera. I lean my bike against the wall and rush inside as I pull the manifest out to find the next item.

he store is pretty crowded and I navigate my way towards the canned items, I am looking for a can of vegetables. I spot a teenage stocker and he points me in the correct direction for my item like he's been asked the same question recently by a helmeted biker. I squeeze between some strolling shoppers and quickly scan the shelf for a vegetable of choice, partially keeping an eye on the price stickers. I settle on a can of sweet corn and head back to the registers. I play chicken with two women and their urban assault strollers for a second as we all chuckle about the goofiness of out actions, in my mind I'm telling them to get the fuck out of my way. I hit the register and count out two singles from my pouch. The smiling woman asks if I need a bag and instead of saying I have one I just say no, no time for wit. I grab the change, stuff it in my left pocket front pocket, receipt in right front and manifest in my mouth as I swing the bag around and drop the can into it. Close and bag, swing it back and scan the manifest to find the next stop. As I step outside the people filming are still there but the other racers aren't. I grab my bike and hop on it while studying the stops. It looks like the next stop is the Sendiks (I think) on Oakland Ave in Shorewood. I scan quickly to make sue I'm not missing an in between stop. It sinks in that one stop takes me out to 27th or so and North, which I rode past to get to the race in the first place. Another stop also had me worried as I couldn't place the street name, Lyon. I knew I knew the name but was unable to kick the mental GPS into the gear it needed to be to pin point Lyons. I knew it was on the east side, possibly the south end and would be close to the lake...I thought.

As I strolled through the parking lot, going against traffic, the two young mothers with SUV strollers again got in my way, I pulled around them and had to dodge a real SUV trying to find parking. I pulled out onto Lake Drive right ahead of a roadie out for a last afternoon/early evening spin. The weather was perfect and I was very comfortable in my short sleeve jersey and knickers, although I was wishing I didn't have my hoodie in the my bag, adding unneeded bulk. I also remembered my juice and realized how thirsty I was getting. I also cursed myself for removing my water bottle cage earlier this week, which would have solved my juice bottle in bag vs. thirst problem. But knew that I would be in worse shape the other way as the legs of my knickers keep getting caught on the cage and resulting in near crash inducing problems as I roll through my pedals circumference to unhook my pant leg. I take a stall in traffic to turn on the red, presumably upsetting the roadie. I pound down the winding stretch of Lake Drive headed for Oakland.

This is a great stretch of road but because its the ritzy burbs two things can cause trouble, they don't like street lights so there are few and they are dim at that. This darkness makes for trouble in seeing debris in the road which at this time of year means large leaf piles due to all the suburbanites not wanting to compost/mulch their foliage and instead see it go to a landfill. I held a comfortably fast pace as I wind around the bends of Lake Drive, at Henry Clay I worry slightly when I hear my wheels grate on loose gravel. At Fairmount a car threatens to squeeze me against the curb as we both make the curve at the same time, I fear more gravel but pull through unscathed. I also notice that the roadie has been pacing me most of the way as well so I kick up the speed for my last few blocks and signal as I pull right o

nto Oakland. I glance back to see if he follows and slow my pace a bit to regain some strength when I don't see him. I roll through the 4 way stop at Hampton and hit fresh pavement as I pull into Shorewood. With the darkness and lack of activity you would think it was 10pm instead of 5ish. I roll down Oakland which appears as a ghost town, much to my delight. As I hit the commercial strip I pull out my manifest to double check the next stops address, as the street lights are more regular and brighter at the stores. I reconfirm my destination as I scan the passing address numbers and pull onto the sidewalk outside the Pick and Save that resides in an old Kohls food store building, 3 blocks north of Sendiks. I pull up and see the two guys from back on Humboldt huddling suspiciously next to were I park my bike, when they see me they get even more secretive and my first thought is that they are splitting their manifest. I rush past them into the store, pull my manifest and notice I need a can of soup, I run into a teenage stocker in produce and he tells me which isle soup is. I rush to the other end of the store, grab a can and hit the self pay check out. I love these things and wish every single store I hit would have them, but so far its been 1 for 3. With ease and skill from running through these things on record time just normally shopping I have my food, receipt and change and am out the door, stuffing the can into the rapidly growing food stockpile. Receipt in right front, change in left front and manifest in mouth to scan next stop.

The next location I home in on is the Sendiks on Downer, the two conspirators are long gone and I fly down Oakland. As I approach Capitol a ghetto white girl pulls out in front of me and frantically tries to figure out the best way for herself to get around stalled traffic. She gets caught trying to turn left onto the street just north of Capitol and I pass around her, I run along the left side of south bound traffic, pull into the north bound lane and turn left onto East Capitol just as the green arrow hits, checking the cars I just skirted for turn signals. This stretch of Capitol is a little old and rutted but nothing to hinder me. I push forward and run the red at Maryland after making sure there are no cars. I think to myself that Whitefish Bay and Shorewood are bad places to run reds so nonchalantly as the cops are plenty and bored in these sleepy burbs. I don't run into any problems and smile internally when I spot a fixed gear locked to a bike pole at a trendy cafe. Two blocks later and I pull south onto Downer and utter darkness as once again I enter a residential stretch where the street lights are few and dim/blocked by intense foliage. I start to wish I had a high lumen bike spot light that my commuter coworkers keep trying to convince me of. It would be a great idea but I cycle through the city were people love street lights and barely spend any time in the burbs at night. I do turn my bright led headlight to full mode to pretend to give myself some warning about pot holes as Downer at this point is old and heavily traveled, but still not too bad.

As I hit Milwaukee the street lights return to sane mode and I pull out my manifest to double check my route. I stuff it in my mouth as an SUV frantically pulls in front of me to park near UWM, I skirt around them and shake my head and resume my manifest studying. I have been getting good at reading these things on the fly and in the dark and remember a race a long time ago when I knew I didn't yet have that skill. I confirm my next stop and the one following which I at first think is Whole Foods. I also go back to the Lyon's stop and entertain the idea of calling my wife to have her google map it and text me a close by major street. Sendiks comes up and I hop on the curb. I notice at least one of the conspiratorial riders and another one who is either the other conspirator or not. I put the bike against a pole and mentally tell it to stay put, for fear of it falling over. Two girls hanging out in front of the grocer reassure me they will watch it...I'm not concerned with it walking away. I rush into the store as the other guy is in the check out. We appear to be the only patrons and the 4 person check out staff is enjoying the hectic scene. I ask a guy at the meat deli who apparently has just been asked the same question were the item I'm looking for is. I grab it (I forget what was at this stop) and rush to the check out. The other racer was outside and the cashier looked at me and said I've got you. I had a faint idea to toss him the can so he could scan it before I arrive but hand it to him as I round behind him. I pull out a few bills and get my change, recipt and can. Can in bag, recpit in right pocket, change in left manifest out. I head outside to see the other guy take off down the street. I doulbe check the address for my next stop at Farwell and realize its Koppa's foods. I hop on the bike, the two girls wish me luck and as I pull onto the road the other bikes is waling back with his bike and says something about a light. Im not sure if he asked if I lost mine or if I saw him lose his, I said no and kept going, happy that I got past him.

I pulled out the manifest as I rolled towards North and start to realize that everything is falling into place routing wise. Lyons instantly comes to me as the East Point Pick and Save. From there I figure the best way to hit the ghetto stop is to get to Fon du Lac and take that to North. At first I thought that stop was on 27th or so, on 20ish street and Fondu Lac is Lena's Market, so I though that was the stop. The manifest produces 35th street. Furher out then I originally was anticipating but still managable. My mental map of the area tells me there is a large super market of some kind in that area but the store name is drawing a blank. I also notice that my 27th street stop is actually on the south side, deep on the south side, followed by the Pick and Save on Holt avenue. This was going to be a long race still as the second half of the manifest was going to be large distances between each stop. I had it set perfectly though and waspleased with my on the fly instinct. I could do this, I have a chance to win or at least podium, which is my goal.

I pull onto North past St Mary's ahead of traffic and push it down the street to beat them to Farwell, the light at Prospect is green but at I hit Downer it that one is red, no problem I pull into the empty east bound Land of North, check for south bound traffic and cut into the left lane of Prospect just as we get the green arrow, perfect. I pound down the decline and use my momentum to carry me up the slight incline to Koppas. I hop off, no one else is there except one of the race organisers with a video camera. I pull out the manifest and run into the empty store. I interrupt the cashier as she is chatting idly with her customer and ask her where the stew is. I get to the isle and start scanning the shelves for something that says stew, like beef stew, to no avail. The other racer with the light question comes in too and we both start looking for stew. The cashier comes to help as well as we ask her for stew. She tells us a bunch of other racers were already here and asked the same question, she shows us the hole they made and we both decide on stew looking cans and check out. I glance at mine and ignore the small text on the top of the label that says soup...the picture shows what could only be stew and prepare to fight it if need be. I check out first and follow the standard routine. I rush outside, grab the bike as the guy continues to film me as I double check the manifest. I take off down Downer going over the rest of the race route in my head, feeling more and more confident in my pace and routing. Everything is lining up. I figured out the one questionable stop and start psyching myself for the grueling long distance legs.

I hit a red at Brady street but am able to rush traffic before the green as the intersection clears out. I pound down the last stretch of Downer and pull right onto Ogden. At Van Buren I hang a right to double check that Lyons is the next street north, when I spot to sign and make out the 4 welcoming letters I cross the empty street and mount the sidewalk. I pull into the sidewalk that runs along the entrance and remember the last time I was here was two years ago for Newsies 6-pack race and I got burned at this stop when Armahn got harassed by his boss for all the racers coming to him for cans of beer. I park my bike against a garbage can and run in while looking at the item I need, a can of cranberry sauce. I ask a worker which isle and he points me to the one I passed to get to him, I start scanning it and at the other end I ask an extremely overweight stocker were it is and he points back behind me, all I see is apple sauce. I ask him again as I neared his digit line and scan the shelves...more applesauce, then, bingo. I grab an inexpensive can and hit the busy check out line. I get behind two women at the self check out. Notice they aren't moving to the open one and take the lead...scan, pay, receipt...I'm out again. I stuff everything where it belongs, scan the manifest to get the next stops address in my mind and to make sure all I have left is what I am planning. Three stops to go, I am burning up the race and feel incredibly good. The climb I'm going to have to make into the ghetto is not looking so good but my routing is perfect from here on out and I'm not going to let it stop me. I hop on the bike and leave Pick and Save with out seeing any racers. Wondering how Capt. Jake is doing as the last place I saw him was the first stop. I start to think about the two conspirators and how you can do it but if I was running the race I would scrutinize the time stamps on their receipts. How an one person be in two spots at such close times...oh well, not an issue, I might win this race with or with ourt cheating competition. Besides, alley cat races are anything goes, if you cheat do it to be right and win. I have split manifest my self and don't care if anyone else does.

I hit Schlitz Park and painfully climb out of the downtown valley. The miles and pace I have put on are hitting me hard and my line slows as I head towards Fon du Lac. I'm still holding a respectible speed but it's hampered by the stiff west wind and my exhausted legs. I gladly pull north on Fondy and welcome the cut in the wind. As I near North traffic behind me gets crazy and tight and I sware at a car for forcing me onto a sunken sewer grate. As soon as I can I pull into the left lane and then turn onto North at the red light and begin swiming against the tide of inner city drivers. A block later on North and I safely pull over to the proper side of the road. I also see a racer flying like a bullet east bound and I signal to him. I'm not worried about him, I have not seen him at any of the other stops and I know my routing is impeccable. I'm also not worried because if he's following a north south route like I am he just screwed himself into a longer trip to hit the south side stops. I breeze to 35th and follow a cop car north then pull into the parking lot of Pick and Save. I lock up to a pole and rush in while a pan handler is trying to get my attention repeatedly. I tell him I don't have any time a few times as I'm rushing inside. I ask a man at the service counter which isle has the stuffing and he apparently has already been asked this question by crazed white people recently. I grab a box and hit the express lane, cursing the ghetto stores for never having self check out.

I'm two people deep and they take forever to wrap up, but this down time allows me to rest up and I quickly get my item and stuff everything in it's place. I hit the door unlock the bike and cruise out of the parking lot. Two stops left, I am on fire. I pull onto North again at a red and have to swim upstream. As I turn the corner Capt. Jake and a cohort come around on my outside and I grin and laugh mockingly at him as I roll away from the stop. It's settled, if I can keep ahead of Jake I'm good as gold and I've got a good pace on him now. I cross over onto the correct side of the street and take a tight turn onto 27th, notice the gapping pot hole right arouind the corner, clear it with my front tire but hit it hard with my rear...POW, dead. I swear really loud and jump off my bike. I throw it on the ground and pull off my bag, franticly pulling out all of my tire change gear. As I'm changing it two of the organizers run up to video tape me. I told them what happen and they say they saw at least one other racer have the same problem here. I ask them if they can take my old tube and box and toss them for me, they grab them and leave me to finish my job and wish me luck. As they leave and I continue a creepy red neck in a creepy pick-up pulls up and ask me if I'm ok, not wanting anything to do with the guy I tell him just changing my flat and I'm ok...weird shit.

With Capt. Jake breathing down my neck I get the tire back in record time, check the centering in the drops and tension of the chain, lock down the nuts hop on and go 200 feet and BANG. Blow the new tube. I spout a string of profanity as I have now just blown my only spare, cursing myself for not having both with me and search my bag on the off chance for it. I rip off my helmet and consider what to do. I call my wife to tell her whats up but just as she picks up I tell her I have to go and hang up as Jake and cohort round the corner. I run out into the street and ask both of them if they have spares...no luck. I watch my lead and win go down 27th. Before I flatted I was at least 5 minutes ahead of Jake, now that number was rapidly going negative. I called my wife and told he my situation. I asked her is she could come get me. My plan was to have her bring my spare tube and drive me to the end location, skip the last two stops and just end the race. She agreed to help me out and I waited it out while wondering who was going to mess with me. A few minutes later I brainstorm the idea of my wife just bringing down my Leader and tube. I call her, ask her where she is and when I find shes on the road I tell her my plan at which point she blows me away by saying the bike is already on the rack as she thought it might be a better idea...I am floored with her love and intelligence and suport. Giddy as a school girl I quickly remove the brake from the Eighthinch and prepare to mount it to the Leader.

During the race my phone had gone off a few times, but I was in race mode so no answering or looking at phone calls. I take the down time to do so and find Matt has been trying to reach me. I tell him where I am and what has happened and he tells me how pissed he is that the race started before 6 and no one told him and the organizers sucked for changing the start time on him. I get off the phone with him and wait form my wife. She shows up a few minutes later with shocked kids in the back seat. I smile and wave wildly at them, they are dumbfounded. I swap bikes, tell my wife I owe her big time and she asks for me to pick up smokes on the way home. I quickly mount the brake and the rear light, unable to mount the headlight to the over sized head tube on the Leader so I shove it in my pocket and off I am. I am leery of the low tire pressure as it has been a while since I maxed the tires out, but no time for that now. I had to keep going and make up my time, while I was no longer able to podium...I at least wanted to finish.

The rims on the Leader are different than the Eighthinch so I left the caliper on the brake open resulting in my having to aid my stopping with my legs more than normal. My pads were also off line on the Leader and they were rubbing against the tire its self. At the red on Vliet I stop and quickly adjust the pads, noticing the strong burned rubber smell emanating from the pads as I do so. With them set I take off and answer a call from Matt, he is wondering where I am as he is now at North and 27th with a tube. I tell him were I am and notice that the road condition gets hellish in front of me at State. Traffic is forcing me to ride the curb and as soon as I close my phone I hit a crack hard and blow my front tire, dropping the phone in the precess. I jump off the bike in the middle of the street and notice a car is about to turn left onto my phone. I run towards them with my hand held out in the stop sign and start pointing at the phone. I grab it, show it to them and smile and wave thanks as I get out of their way. I call Matt and tell him I just flatted and to meet me at State. Again I pull out everything and start changing the flat. There is more foot traffic here and I get leery of the people around me. The house at the corner expels 3 teenagers and I greet them to make sure they know I know they are there and I know whats up in the neighborhood I am changing my flat in.

I get it changed as Matt arrives and start recounting what happened while he grills me about the start time. Everything is set and just as I am about to mount my headlight to my fork the tire blows. I swear loud and Matt is awestruck at my string of horrid luck. He quickly produces a spare and I start again in replacing the tire. He grabs the old tube and hits it with his hand pump. We check the hole against the tire to find out why it blew and find a nice sized hole in the sidewall. I grab the electrical tape I thankfully started to carry in my bag and patch the hole. As I mount the tire Matt produces a spare CO2, much to my relief as the only other option was to use the hand pump and run 60psi max for the rest of the ride which would undoubtably result in more flats, which just wasn't going to be feasable anymore as both Matt and I were out and the last thing I wanted to do was drag my wife out again for ride support. I filled out, mounted the wheel and we took off. My goal now was to take A-class DFL and hope for a swank prize. We rode easy as the street continued to be a mess of concrete death until we crossed the freeway into the south side.

The ride all the way to 27th Street just south of Loomis was enjoyable as it has been since the summer that I have ridden with Matt. We held a comfortable pace all the way as we talked about random things and I tried to explain how the address grid works. We arrived at Pick and Save to find a large group of bikers. I asked them what manifest they were doing and all but one said B...for them to run this short of a manifest and be so long into the race was staggering...but these were people who probably never did alley cats before. I found out the other A rider had the same last stops I did and I told him he better pick up the pace so I can win DFL. We strolled in and grabbed a box of instant mashed potatoes each, Matt figured he's help out with some food too. Checked out at the self check lanes and I hit the bathroom, relieved my need to urinate that I had had since I was in Shorewood. We walked out of the store, loaded up and rode with some other people out onto 27th. We puled past them and turned east on Morgan to hit the final stop.

Morgan was fast and easy, with us having to wait at the red light at 6th street. We pulled into the Pick and Save and found more B manifest riders. We strolled in and got our cans of corn, Matt picked up a bunch of them, checked out and headed to the end point. Matt sprinted out of the parking lot and I strolled behind him. He hit construction on Chase and I opted to walk the bike over the gravel rather than risk another flat. More racers caught up with Matt and unskillfully cut between traffic, rookies. I mounted the sidewalk, feared more gravel and caught up with Matt as he waited out the traffic. We took off towards 1st street. As we turned onto 1st I asked Matt if it was ok if I referred to him as my Domestique from that point onward, after I explained what a Domestique rider is he came up with calling him a Sherpa which seemed more appropriate. We rode the last few blocks to the Horny Goat brewery on south 1st and pulled into a parking lot filled with bikers. I found the check in after asking and began to tell them my tale of woe. I told them my plan to win A class DFL and they told me there would only be one DFL. I took my time, made my 9 receipts look presentable, some of which had started to fade from sweat absorbition, and stuffed them back in the envelop my manifest came in. I then unloaded all of my food stuffs onto a table that was rapidly filling up and went in search of beer. Before hitting the bar we took a celebratory nip of my whiskey filled flask and were told by a hostess that we had to go around the building to get to the race party...they wanted to keep us separate from the yuppie clientele. We got in after getting ID's checked and greeting Kevin and Peter who were setting up their Goldsprint machines. We quickly found the beer and Capt. Jake, who explained to me what ran down. He said he technically got 3rd even though the first two guys, the conspirators, split their manifest and took 1st and second. So by the idea of completing the manifest successfully Jake was first, which means I would technically have been first since I was 5 minutes ahead of Jake before all hell broke lose on 27th. This made me bitter about the guys splitting the manifest and my technical problems, but I wasn't bitter about Jake making the podium, I was happy to see I was on the right course and was kicking ass, it was good to see him rock it too. We got beer and food and waited it out while talking with various people.

I talked with Peter about he and Eric's trip last week to LA and he told me about how insane bike theft has become out there. He said there are little 13 and 14 year old gang runts rolling around with bike tools and stripping whatever they can, stuff like cranks, so they are rolling with crank pullers...who would have thought life in the street gang could set you up to be a bike mechanic? He said that everyone they ran into has stuff stolen from them and people were getting desperate enough to start super gluing ball bearings into their allen screws heads to stop people. New York used to be the most ungodly place for bike theft but LA appears to be blowing it out of the water...everything's always bigger in Hollywood I guess. makes me happy to live in the Midwest where all I usually need to do it lock my frame to something and not leave a bike outside over night. I should do an alley cat some time were you have to rol to locations that have abandoned/stripped bikes and tell me what the frame type is.

Soon the after events started, with strip track stand hitting it off. This was actually rather boring compared to the track stand comp in Tokyo and the heckling ensued. I noticed, as I did at registration, that I didn't know any of the kids that raced, they were mostly locals but because all I do is race as opposed to roll around like a fashion model and hang out at trendy bars I don't know any of this crowd. The strip track stand started getting mildly interesting when they started to remove stuff below the waist. Once the shirts were off only two people remained, one being on of the co-conspirators. He ended up winning by being the only one able to take his pants off while staying on the bike...nice. Next was foot down which I decided not to do, due to the large amount of carbon on the Leader. I'm glad I didn't either because no one seemed to know the rules and started pushing people over. Kevin survived to near the end and called fowl when some one pushed him...because as far as it's supposed to go is to keep your hands and feet on the bike. Once that debacle concluded it was time for the award ceremony. Evershed took 3rd, Capt. Jake took 2nd and the other co-conspirator (I think) took 1st. While the prizes were nice I only really would have made out with first as one of the prized was a sweet Seagull messenger bag, but alas it was not mine to be had. There was some upset participants as One of the only girls who did A class got burned by the organizers only doing a overall first female prize which went to a girl in B class seeing as she only had to go half the distance...bad planning on their part. There was also no prize for DFL, even though I wouldn't have gotten that either as more B class racers straggled in after I had been back.

Once the awards were handed out everyone either left or participated in Goldsprints. Matt and I went head to head and he beat me by a whole second and a half...nice job. We both made good enough times to get into the semis though and Matt got lucky with that one as Kevin accidentally deleted him so he didn't sprint again. I unfortunately had to sprint again and put my self in bad shape by doing so. I had biked all over town, partied hard the night before and had been partying. Just being in good condition and sober Goldsprints makes you want to throw up. I could already taste my dinner after the first round. the second time around was even worse and the results put me in a haze the rest of the night. I joked I was going to throw up while sprinting the second time around and Pete begged me not to do it on the bike/rollers. I cranked out a better time by under 2 seconds the second time around but lost out to the guy I rolled against, I was done and happy for that. Matt and his wife, who has showed up half an hour previously, graciously gave me and my bike a ride back home, which was a god send seeing as I wasn't in much condition tube or stamina wise to make the 8 mile trip back home even before I did 2 Goldsprint rounds. I had to maintain my mental fortitude on the car trip home to keep my stomach from upending. But I made it home and unloaded. Next year...I will dominate.